Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Shuffleboard Court Painting While Drunk..
Posted on May 6, 2009
..is not a good idea what so ever. Well not technically drunk but you know hungover as hell from the night before. What also really sucks is when you eat some burritos the night prior, and you where drunk as shit and doused the burritos with some of the hottest hot sauce there is, and I aint talking about no Texas Pete or Lousiana hot sauce. This stuff is fire, I think it is called Hell or some crap like that.
Anyway the next day me and my buddy had to paint some shuffleboard courts, and there is nothing worst than doing it hungover, while you are taking hungover craps and everything that comes out is burning because of the hot sauce that you had the night before. Out there in the hot Florida sun, getting tanned, and if we were lucky we would get to paint a shuffleboard court that was on the beach at a hotel.
Now why would that be a good thing to paint a shuffleboard court that is on the beach, besides the fact that there are beautiful half naked women at the beach, along with plenty of beach bars. Yes we sometimes may have a drink on the job but we still get the job done. Plus there is no better cure for a hangover in the world than a couple of cocktails.
The other good thing is if the owner of the hotel is out there watching you paint the courts. Then you can get to know them and usually we can always talk ourselves into getting a couple of free rounds from the beach bar on the house. Which is great because buying cocktails on the beach can be very expensive, but it is so conveneint. So that is why I always get excited when we are going to the beach to paint a shuffleboard court, and yes the drinks and the hot women are definetly a great reason to get excited.
Clean Red Widgets Contest
Posted on December 19, 2008
So I entered this SEO contest about a a month ago, and the purpose of this contest is to rank number one for the retarded keyword clean red widgets. The person that comes in first place when the contest is over will win a thousand bucks, which is a lot more than a little pocket change. So for me to get that money so I can go out and party, I guess I need to start eating, breathing, and shitting out clean red widgetsThese imaginary attention sluts will be around me all day and I will be working them all day. Where ever I see or spot clean red widgets on the internet, I will not be far behind, I will be there right beside them holding a beer in my hand. So if you see me stubling down the street inebriated, being help up by only a couple of clean red widgets, then you now know why.
Cheers
Drunk Sunday, Bucs Win !!!
Posted on October 12, 2008
Another Sunday for your average drunk, I love football season, it gives a great reason to wake up and start drinking. Then you dont have to take no heat from the old lady, football season is a reason to drink. Period. Anyways as you can see from the name of this title that I am a Buccaneers fan, and I hate New York teams…..ARGGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!! I mean the Carolina Panthers just got completely butt raped today, the Bucs treated them like a stepchild. They stood no chance, so if there are any Carolina Panther fans in the house, I am sorry, go take a dump in the toilet and stick your face in it and forget to flush, you lose. Haaa.
On another note, what about them Tampa Bay Rays? Only took 5 and a half hours to seal the deal, and now we are tied with them no good Boston Sox. 1-1. Now we go to Boston tommorrow, we will see what happens. Go Rays. Go Bucs. Go Seminoles. Signing off, your favorite stupid drunk.
What Kind Of Drunk Are You?
Posted on September 7, 2008
Alcohol is a very dangerous and mind altering substance, this is no mystery to anybody. Different people react different ways when they are under the influence, for some it takes more than others. There are many types of drunks that are out there but I am almost sure that there is no such thing as a “quiet drunk”.
I mean I am sure that there is but I have not seen one in my lifetime, I have never seen anybody get completely shit housed, and just be to their self and not share open thoughts with everybody around them, it just doesn’t work with the mind of a drunk. No matter what type of drunk you are when you are loaded I am sure that you are blabbering away and carrying on about your sob stories, letting everything off of your chest, alcohol will give you power, it will give you the power to say what you mean, and say what you normally would not say if you were dead sober.
We all know that this is a drug that plagues are will to socialize, some of us can’t just sit down with some buddies and have just “1 beer”, and some of you can (losers). One beer leads to two, and two leads to a night of pure drunkenness, usually resulting in drunk dialing, drunk texting, or sending out random messages on myspace or facebook, other wise known as “drunk social networking online”. Yes, we all want to get everything off of our chest when we are drunk, and at the time being when we do we feel good about ourselves, you let out everything that you wanted to, all this time that it has been building up, and thanks to alcohol you finally had the marbles to spill the beans.
Then comes the next morning, you can’t remember what time you went to bed, and then you have a gut feeling that you did something you didn’t want to do…oh shit, IT HAPPENED AGAIN. Now this could be several things, but when you check your myspace or phone and you seen that you wrote all of these crazy fucking wacked out messages you immediately hope that the person on the other end never got to them. But they always do, and then you feel like a drunk piece of shit.
So this drunk rant really isn’t going anywhere fast, nor do I know if it has a meaning since I am just drunk typing, but what this all boils down to I guess, what kind of drunk are you? By that I mean how do you act when you are loaded, not just a little bit buzzed and you can still walk a straight line, but down right fucking shit housed !!!!
I am the type of drunk that rarely doesn’t get violent, in most cases I am just extremely cocky and tend to talk a good amount of shit, but not in an idiotic way like a lot of my friends do. I mean you have your stupid drunks, then you have your stupid drunks that are coherent. I am one of those drunks that are coherent. Even though 90% of the time I am shitfaced I blackout, I remember nothing, the only reason I remember anything from 2007 is because I took a lot of photos and so did my friends. The only reason that I remember anything from the 5 years that I was enlisted in the navy was from looking at drunken photos and videos of my stupidity. So, I think I am a smart drunk, but I never remember shit, I am always quick to black the fuck out, and I rarely get stupid drunk to where I cant act coherent at all, although I have heard stories that it has happened a couple of times over the years.
So what kind of drunk are you? Are you the life of the party, do people laugh at you because you are funny or because you are just making a total jackass out of yourself. Or are you one of those “I never get shit housed” drunks that always seem to be able to act more sober than the rest of your shit faced drunk friends like you are better than them?
redemption
Posted on August 27, 2008
Those who know me will better understand,but genuine truths always find clarity.Once you realize that the star that burns brightest lasts half as long,you begin to comprehend that man is mortal and subject to vulnerability capable of elevating to Olympian heights…
I have tried to suppress and nullify one of my unfortunate characteristics(or demons) but found it had only layed dormant until the opportunity to re-manifest itself fell upon me.I tried to act rational,but my true nature revolting against structure, allowed me to become nothing more than an animal feeding on, then instinctively reverting me back from being a would be philosopher,to a man merely governed by his most primal of emotions.
A genuine oxymoron, “The barbaric/intellectual.”
a truly tragic conundrum….
I graduated highschool w/ a 3.83 and was deemed most likely to succeed,with a free ride to college to boot.Did I take advantage of potentially limitless future my virtues afforded me?
Nah…just abandon all logic and coast into a endless maze of a life, drenched in 15$ an hour mediocrity.